NEW YORK (AP) — The holidays are meant to be a time of celebration with family and friends. But they can also bring pressure to spend money on gifts, gatherings and plane tickets home, exacerbated by brand emails, social media influencers and family expectations.
With credit card debt rising and prices for many items still high due to inflation, overspending during the holiday season can add to the financial stress many Americans are already experiencing, said Dr. Marketa Wills, CEO and medical director of the American Psychiatric Association.
“The idea that one is on the hook for buying gifts for all their friends and families adds an enormous amount of stress on someone trying to have a perfect holiday,” Wills said.
But there are ways to get through the holidays without spending more than you can afford. From setting expectations with your family to making a budget to gifting experiences rather than things, here are expert recommendations to avoid financial stress this holiday season:
Start with a budget
To avoid overspending on gifts for family and friends, set a specific goal, said Matt Watson, CEO of Origin, a financial planning app. Ask yourself what your spending limit is before you start shopping.
“People get into ‘justification mode’ where you have a general sense of what you want to spend but then you see this really nice thing and all of the sudden you’ve done that a few times and you spend twice as much as you thought you might,” Watson said.
Watson also recommends that you include in your budget calculations how much you’ll pay for taxes and shipping.
Manage expectations with loved ones
In many families, the holidays mean going all out with gift-giving. But this can quickly become stressful if your finances make it hard to keep up. Managing expectations is key.
“You can avoid feeling inadequate, or like you’re not doing a good job, by having an honest conversation about where your finances are,” Watson said.
Being open about your money can be difficult, but sharing if you are struggling with debt or other financial issues can help family and friends understand that they should prioritize low-cost gifts or activities.
Don’t wait until the last minute
Planning your holiday shopping ahead of time can make it easier to stick to your budget,.
“When people feel rushed, oftentimes they’re going to buy more expensive things,” said Watson, who also pointed out that shipping costs increase closer to Christmas.
As you budget for the holidays, make a list of the items you want to purchase and slowly start buying them. This way, you divide your costs among several paychecks and avoid relying on credit for last-minute expenses.
Get creative
Wills recommends that people opt for homemade gifts if they want to show appreciation for their loved ones without overspending. Homemade gifts don’t always have to be crafts, they can also be actions.
“I will do babysitting for you, I will cook a meal for you,” Wills said. “Those kinds of things take a financial pressure off and make for a more joyous holiday season.”
In recent years, shopping expert Trae Bodge has noticed that younger people prefer to gift each other experiences rather than items. She recommends finding affordable, fun activities to do with your loved ones.
Examples include going ice skating, hiking or hosting a potluck. You could also gift a photoshoot or framed pictures or digital albums to commemorate happy experiences.
Create your own traditions
Expectations or traditions you grew up with, such as buying expensive gifts for every member of your extended family, can cause stress during the holidays. This is what Bodge refers as “keeping up with the Joneses,” which refers to trying to keep up with the expectations of other people rather than what is realistic for you to spend.
“Sometimes you may have a family member that is very financially well-off and they love to treat you to big, extravagant things. If you’re not in that same financial position, you should not feel compelled to return the favor,” Bodge said.
When creating your own new traditions, Watson recommends sharing the financial goals you have, such as saving for a house or paying off debt. This will help your loved ones understand why you’re looking to limit expenses during the holidays.
Divide spending responsibilities
Wills also recommends cutting costs by being selective with your expenses. For example, when it comes to hosting, even having a small group of people can be very expensive if you’re expected to pay for everything. If you’re in this situation, you could propose that everyone brings a dish.
“Think about having a potluck meal for the holiday. Have everybody bring something to the event to help share the cost,” she said.
Communicate your feelings
If you are having financial difficulties, it can help to talk about it with your family and friends.
“Sharing about stress can in and of itself be therapeutic for the individual who may be having concerns for that during the during the holiday season,” Wills said.
Making room to listen to your loved ones’ feelings is equally important, she said.
And if the holidays are a tough time for you, Wills recommended that you prioritize your mental health and good habits such as resting well and exercising.
Don’t be afraid to say no
It’s the season where social events are happening every weekend but if they are causing you too much financial stress or hurting your mental health, it’s okay to be selective.
Additionally, if you start feeling uncomfortable about certain conversations with your family, Wills recommends you take some time for yourself by taking a walk or removing yourself from the conversation.
Seek professional help if you need it
If you are experiencing mental health struggles, there are several resources you can use to find professional help.
In the U.S., you can dial 211 to speak with a mental health expert, confidentially and for free.
Other mental health resources include:
Veterans Crisis Line: call 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Crisis Text Line: Text the word ‘Home’ to 741-741
The Trevor Lifeline for LGBTQ Youth: 1-866-488-7386
The Trans Lifeline: 1-877-565-8860
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The Associated Press receives support from Charles Schwab Foundation for educational and explanatory reporting to improve financial literacy. The independent foundation is separate from Charles Schwab and Co. Inc. The AP is solely responsible for its journalism.
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A version of this story moved on Dec. 21. 2023. This version has been updated with new quotes and material.
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